You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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