We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
