"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
