I'm drive I can fine osifer
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
