How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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