She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
