We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
