i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So much rum. So many feels.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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