so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
