i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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