So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
