I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
