If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
