I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
