im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
