I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just want to make out with him forever
Im part way to drunk.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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