When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
