i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
