Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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