You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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