garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
