1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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