oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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