chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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