Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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