woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
