yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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