He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
