? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
