Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
