it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
