real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
