These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
