Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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