She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
