i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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