I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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