Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They took my balls.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
