i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
