He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
