you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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