I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
