I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
