i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
