What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
