My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
