piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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