Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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