oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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