Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
