I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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