I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You're so nebulous sometimes
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
