Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize