My first STD was from a foam party
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
